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Just heard on the news that President Trump will sign an executive order to protect Federal Statues and Monuments…

Good news! Living citizens still can’t get health care, but inanimate objects can.

USA! USA! USA! #freepizzaandvodka

These are great days we’re living in! By that, I mean I think it’s great that no longer do you have to accept something as news, if you don’t agree with it!

Example…

A few months back, when The WHO was first telling everyone about Covid-19, I heard many people saying things like “I don’t agree!” “The virus is a scam” “The WHO has NO idea what it’s talking about” etc. etc. etc.

But recently, The WHO has stated that they think asymptomatic transfer of the virus is very rare. Prompting the same people to now proclaim “SEE I TOLD YOU! The WHO said it’s not transferred as easily as they thought!”

WAIT! I Thought The WHO was full of shit?!? But now, they come out with a statement that you like, and all of a sudden you consider them a reliable source.

OHHHHH, I get it. If you like something, it’s FACTS!
If you don’t, it’s FAKE NEWS!

This is COOL! I Think I’m gonna start using this tool as well! But I think I’m gonna save mine until football season…

Example…Bears lose…FAKE NEWS! BEARS WIN…FACTS!

HELL, I might even just use it for everything the rest of my life.

Hey y’all! I hope you’re all doing well during this crazy time, and I also hope you have realized the joys of morning drinking by now! (Welcome to my world)

But all kidding aside, hope y’all are doing your best to support those Mom n Pop shops, because now is when they need it most! So remember, next time you need something from the hardware store or some take out food, KEEP IT IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD! Below is a list of a few great spots here in Los Angeles…and I know many of you don’t live in L.A., so wherever you are, tell me your favorite local spot, and I’ll give them a shout out too!!! CHEERS!

The Smokehouse, Burbank,CA

Ernies Taco House, N Hollywood, CA

Raffalo’s Pizza, Hollywood, CA

Vivoli Cafe, Hollywood, CA

Rainbow Bar and Grill, W Hollywood, CA

Hoys Wok, Hollywood, CA

These are just a few! Feel free to send me more so I can add to the list!!!!

Hey y’all! Hope you digging the new website…thanks for stopping by! As you can imagine, due to The Corona Virus, stand up comedy as we know it, has ceased to exist, but hopefully we are back at the clubs and bars making y’all laugh soon! However, all is not lost! I will be posting videos on my YouTube page! (Here’s the link https://www.youtube.com/user/jonasgarvin ) But not traditional stand up comedy videos, these are going to have a little twist! I WANT YOU TO SEND ME THE TOPICS!!! That’s right, you send me the topics you would like to see my riff on, and I’ll do the rest! Until then, stay safe out there, and stop hoarding all the damn toilet paper!!!