I remember immediately after the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001, that America was united as I had never seen before. We were all AMERICANS. We were UNITED against a common enemy, the terrorists.
But now, I see a very different country. One that is DIVIDED beyond belief, and it’s sad. Because now we have a new enemy. The Corona Virus. And rather than unite and fight this thing, we chose to argue amongst ourselves like a bunch of whiny bitches.
But I have a solution. Let’s pretend The Corona Virus is a bunch of brown people that ride camels, carry AK-47s, and live in caves in The Middle East, because NOTHING unites Americans like an excuse to bomb the shit out of dirt worshiping goat herders that pray to a different God! We could even give the virus a new name, how about instead of Covid 19, we call it “Al-Corona”.
Then, there is no more arguing. We become united in the fight against “Al-Corona”! Every car has an American Flag waving from it, and EVERYONE is united against a common enemy! Another sweet byproduct of this would be no more racism! Remember after 9/11 how that disappeared for a while too? There was no black or white, just AMERICAN!
Now I know some of you are saying, “But Jonas, if there is a clear enemy in this, it’s China! That’s where the virus came from, why don’t we just bomb the shit out of them?”
Simple. Because that sweet and sour chicken is just too fucking good.